trying to survive with chicken soup

When I was 18 and thought about the future,  I wanted to be thin, rich and have a nice family with loving kids (6) and a loving husband. A bit of a cliche but very true. I never dreamt about the big wedding and the white dress, or any of that stuff really. I had just one goal: have lots of money.

I used to be thin, so that part never really worried me, until it was obviously too late. Knowing for some years that I was gaining weight, 40 pounds later, I realized that shipped had sailed. It wasn't a matter of 5 pounds anymore, it was real weight. Then came the pregnancy and now -9 months later- I'm on a torturing diet.

I never worried about aging, why would I? I was young. Not that I'm old now, but I'm definitely not 18 anymore. I didn't understand people who stressed out about turning 30. What's the big deal? OK, now I get it, and I'm terrified of aging. Like it's some sort of disease eating my body. My back hurts, it's harder to lose weight, wrinkles start to show, I have a mom belly...

I feel young, does that count?

Back to my goals, I'm not thin at all, I'm definitely not rich and I do have the loving family, husband, baby, dogs, etc.

I don't want to sound ungrateful, I love my husband, I'm crazy for my dogs, and my baby is the best thing that ever happened to me; but it seems unfair to me, that I'm able to do practically anything if I put my heart into it, and I'm still not able to make some freaking money or lose some weight.

I'm missing something and I don't know what it is.

I have all the ideas, I'm capable of  making them happen, all I need is the money. 

Oh, that's right. 

So it's a circle? I need money to create a successful business to make some money. 

Well I'm getting there. I hope I can open a boutique later this year. I hope I can sell more and more desserts (and stop eating half of them). And then I'll finally have my small fortune to start something big...

Once again going back to the goals, specifically to the thin part.

Since I had that episode with my back two weeks ago, I started a diet, went on a weight-loss plan and I'm being tortured with some weight-loss massages that I'm not sure are massages at all. It's just a group of women who hate fat people and feel pleasure by hitting them and making them feel pain.

Well, it's not as horrible as it sounds, but I DID CRY on Monday.

The orange juice-and-chicken soup-for-5-days diet has worked like a charm, and I've lost 6 pounds already, I'll start exercising on Monday so I can keep getting those pounds off my hips and belly. It's been very hard not cheating on the diet, but today I think I passed the test. I had a family kitchen shower-lunch thing I had to go, so I took my lunch box with me and ate my pathetic chicken broth with a boiled chicken breast while 15 people around me had a sushi buffet :-(

I didn't even try a piece.
I was proud of myself. Still am.

 
I don't understand why it's so hard for me to diet. I really do live for food. I honestly don't think there's another human being enjoying every flavour going in their mouth as much as me. You can call me Remi ;)

Isn't nicotine supposed to be the hardest thing to quit? I used to smoke up to 2 packs of cigarettes and when I got pregnant I quit for good. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't as hard as 3 days of diet.

Just 3 days (still a lifetime to go) ??? OMG, if do lose my 25 pounds, how in hell am I gonna be able to keep them down? I have to diet for the rest of my life?? Eating healthy it's called, I call it torture. For someone who loves carbs, and loves cooking, it's mission impossible. I'll have to stop being such a lazy ass and start exercising.

So I was thinking today about my unaccomplished goals and the ones that I did accomplish, and thought that maybe getting thin is the first step to being a millionaire (Lol)! It doesn't make sense at all, but if good things do come together, I really do hope that the other thing is lots of money!!

I haven't cooked this week, which is torture because that's my anxiety release.

I'm sharing a few recipes with you :) I hope you can enjoy them in the name of love!

CHURROS WITH CHOCOLATE SAUCE 

This is the easiest recipe ever! I love it, you can make the churros with any sauce, or just coated in sugar. 

Put in a small heavy-based pan 1 cup of water, 2tbsp butter and a pinch of salt. Bring to a boil and turn the heat down. Add 1 cup flour until a big ball forms.
Heat 2 cups of vegetable oil. Using a cookie press, make the churros directly on the oil and deep fry until they are golden brown.
Remove the churros from the oil, and place them in a dish with sugar, sugar and cinnamon or pat them dry with paper.

To make the chocolate sauce, melt about 150g (5oz) with 3/4 cup cream and stir until well blended.

You can also make balls instead of churros if you don't have a cookie press or piping bag.
You can fill the churros (or balls) with the sauce instead of dipping them into it.

Please try this recipe and enjoy!!