You're fat, and your spine can't take it

On Thursday morning I picked up my baby, and found myself crying with pain. I wasn't able to move, and had to spend the rest of the day with someone helping me with him. On top of it, my knee had been bothering for a while and was a little swollen.
I went to the doctor and had some x-rays done, both knee and back, then went back home. 

Friday afternoon I had to go back to the doctor to show him the x-rays and hear the terrible news of some terrible problem I thought I had.

Diagnose:
You're fat.

I won't lie, I DID see that one coming.

So the doctor tells me:
As a doctor I'd tell you that you're wight is too much for your spine and you must lose some pounds. As a friend, I'd tell you that it's not so nice being overweight, right? Do you feel good being overweight?

Nope. I don't.
At all.
Really. Why on earth would I feel good being overweight? My back hurts, my knees hurt, my belly looks as if I'm pregnant again, my clothes won't fit, I can't jog for 5 straight minutes without feeling like my heart is gonna explode...
And, did I mention, MY CLOTHES DON'T FIT.

As a fashion designer, the best plus about it, is being able to make your own clothes. Some crazy trend comes, and I don't have to spend millions on wearing it. I don't really even have to spend even a hundred. I'll buy some fabric and make my clothes.
This advantage goes away the moment I don't feel comfortable about wearing those clothes.

So yes, I do wanna lose weight.

I must say that I realize I'm not THAT overweight. I have between 20 or 30 extra pounds on me, but the thing is, I used to be very very thin. And my bones are meant to hold a smaller body I guess, because my back feels as if I'd weight 200 pounds at least.

I'll try to lose 25 pounds, I hope I can make it.

The thing with me is that I don't do anything about my weight. I don't diet, I don't exercise, I don't even complain about it... I just remind everyone, including myself, every second of the day that I'm overweight. If I'd go on a diet and make some exercise, I'm sure I'd lose at least 10 pounds in 2 months. If not more.
But that's where my problem comes, if I don't do anything and am fat, it doesn't matter, because I know I'm not doing anything about it. If I start dieting and sweating like a pig to see the scale go down ONE pound, I'll start freaking out and be very depressed.

Am I right?

Anyway, since the doctor not only said I am fat but also look indubitably fat, I'll start my regimen on Monday.
No more cookies, cakes, muffins, pies, tarts or chocolates.

It will be hard cooking without eating a cookie every now and then!!

And I bought 3 pounds of white chocolate today :(
I'm making tomorrow white chocolate chip oatmeal cookies. Yummy!! I'll have to eat them all as a farewell treat (LOL)!

                                                                        Good bye Churros : (

Tomorrow I'll post many of my sweet recipes as a farewell to my endless love to food!!
Until then, I shall dream about chocolate, garlic and love!!