The bag-o-flesh

Dealing with postpartum body is not easy... The few parts of your body you used to like, are suddenly gone, or even worst, are like an empty bag-o-flesh :-(

Your belly is huge, your boobs sag, your ass is huge... Not to mention your arms, thighs, hips, and sometimes face.

As you know, I've been dealing with my weight issue for almost a decade, and now I finally decided to do something about it. I have to say that the chicken soup diet and the hitting and slapping and banging and torturing method have had a positive result, because I've lost about 7 pounds and a few inches.
Although I still have many pounds to go, I do feel better. At least getting dressed in the morning is getting to be fun again.

Today I found the best remedy for not feeling like an empty fat suit. Taking your baby with you when you take a shower has a whole new meaning! Every time you look in the mirror and think that your best assets are gone, look behind you and see why your body is like this now.
Just take a look at your baby in the mirror and remember why you went through all of this!

So this would be the timeline:

 Me at 18

Me at 30 (before pregnancy)

Hahaha... I wish!!! This is more like it

Me at 18

Me at 30 (before pregnancy)

The awful truth!! Present time :S

So that my friends is reality. And as we know, reality bites! Let's just hope I can get to look somewhat like the first pic!!! If I fail, I can always make my hair pink again =D

You're fat, and your spine can't take it

On Thursday morning I picked up my baby, and found myself crying with pain. I wasn't able to move, and had to spend the rest of the day with someone helping me with him. On top of it, my knee had been bothering for a while and was a little swollen.
I went to the doctor and had some x-rays done, both knee and back, then went back home. 

Friday afternoon I had to go back to the doctor to show him the x-rays and hear the terrible news of some terrible problem I thought I had.

Diagnose:
You're fat.

I won't lie, I DID see that one coming.

So the doctor tells me:
As a doctor I'd tell you that you're wight is too much for your spine and you must lose some pounds. As a friend, I'd tell you that it's not so nice being overweight, right? Do you feel good being overweight?

Nope. I don't.
At all.
Really. Why on earth would I feel good being overweight? My back hurts, my knees hurt, my belly looks as if I'm pregnant again, my clothes won't fit, I can't jog for 5 straight minutes without feeling like my heart is gonna explode...
And, did I mention, MY CLOTHES DON'T FIT.

As a fashion designer, the best plus about it, is being able to make your own clothes. Some crazy trend comes, and I don't have to spend millions on wearing it. I don't really even have to spend even a hundred. I'll buy some fabric and make my clothes.
This advantage goes away the moment I don't feel comfortable about wearing those clothes.

So yes, I do wanna lose weight.

I must say that I realize I'm not THAT overweight. I have between 20 or 30 extra pounds on me, but the thing is, I used to be very very thin. And my bones are meant to hold a smaller body I guess, because my back feels as if I'd weight 200 pounds at least.

I'll try to lose 25 pounds, I hope I can make it.

The thing with me is that I don't do anything about my weight. I don't diet, I don't exercise, I don't even complain about it... I just remind everyone, including myself, every second of the day that I'm overweight. If I'd go on a diet and make some exercise, I'm sure I'd lose at least 10 pounds in 2 months. If not more.
But that's where my problem comes, if I don't do anything and am fat, it doesn't matter, because I know I'm not doing anything about it. If I start dieting and sweating like a pig to see the scale go down ONE pound, I'll start freaking out and be very depressed.

Am I right?

Anyway, since the doctor not only said I am fat but also look indubitably fat, I'll start my regimen on Monday.
No more cookies, cakes, muffins, pies, tarts or chocolates.

It will be hard cooking without eating a cookie every now and then!!

And I bought 3 pounds of white chocolate today :(
I'm making tomorrow white chocolate chip oatmeal cookies. Yummy!! I'll have to eat them all as a farewell treat (LOL)!

                                                                        Good bye Churros : (

Tomorrow I'll post many of my sweet recipes as a farewell to my endless love to food!!
Until then, I shall dream about chocolate, garlic and love!!