Why should you care what I share

Having a weird day is, well, weird. I really can't explain how is it that get into weird mode, but I suddenly start questioning everything I make and I start feeling very thankful for the things I have.

It's like depression disguised as weirdness. Really. I've been meaning to write an entry for quite a while, but every time I'm gonna sit and write, I get this question in my head.

So... Why am I writing this? Why should anyone care what I have to say?

We share stuff all the time these days. Facebook, twitter, instant messages. You don't even have to call anyone to tell them something. You can just make an anonymous statement in twitter and get it out of your system. Why complain with anyone about anything, when you can tweet some lines filled with rage (or love) and leave them floating on the internet.

As I said before, today I'm having a weird day, and I actually tweeted that a few minutes ago. And then I started looking up stuff on you tube and I had this sudden urge to share everything.
Why would you want anyone to know what you're listening, what your watching and ultimately what you feel?

Isn't kind of embarrassing letting people know that you should be at work WORKING and not looking up for stupid stuff on line?

I'm actually lucky to be my own boss and have my own schedule, but I still feel like a lazy person every time I share something on Facebook during office hours!

Things that freak me out

I've seen a lot of these lately
 

• People who have religious stuff on their car
• People who have excessive amount of religious stuff on their car.
• People who are always telling you "bless you"
• Extremely small people who are NOT little people
• Extremely tall people
• People with a torso so long,  that it's the same length as their legs
• People with teeth so white they are blue
• Women with too much surgery
• Men with any kind of surgery you can tell
• Very ugly women with extremely good bodies
• Feet that are too small for a person's body
• Women with mustaches so big they could belong to a man
• Hiccups
• Abs so toned that they look like a piece of plastic
• Extremely nice people (I always think they are up to something)
  

Thank you!

Even if we don't celebrate thanksgiving over here, it's quite impossible not to get all soaked up in the mood with all the stuff on the web and twitter.

I've been having a rough week at work since (um... about 3 weeks ago), and today I nearly collapsed in the "why me???" mood. After counting to ten before smashing the phone on the wall because the bank left me on hold for nearly an hour... I took a BIG breath. I went to my son's room where he was playing/yelling/falling/crying/and playing a little more and sat with him to do the same.

I then realized how stupid we sometimes are. And by sometimes I mean 95% of the time. And by we I mean ME.
 
I truly have everything in life.
So I'm not a freaking millionaire.
Who cares!!!
I have it all, the great loving husband (with a rock band), the unpredictable amazing loving son I never even dreamed of, the 3 crazy disastrous loving dogs that would die for me (I'm pretty sure about that one, haven't asked them, but I'm sure), the dream job (even if it doesn't give me loads of money YET), great sense of humor and the ability of doing everything I want.

If things get complicated I'm always gonna be able of dodge them and jump back in the game. Good times will come and bad times will come too. I'll embrace them both. Enjoy the good ones and learn from the bad ones.

I couldn't be more thankful in life!! And just to prove it, I'm gonna bake some delicious chocolate cupcakes!

baking a double personality

If you see me any day at a party, I won't strike you as the kind of person who spends a lot of time baking cookies...
I was thinking today that there are 2 very different sides in me. There's the Bree Van De Kamp / Martha Stewart side that loves baking and doing the cutest things, and there's the party as hell-kick in your face-I'll do what I want side...

So while making brownies in the morning, then bread, then cake pops and finally pizza for my dear husband (and me, obviously) I thought that maybe one of both parts is a fake. Either I'm a total nerd and my real job in life is to be a loving housewife and I'm trying to disguise it, or I'm a total freak and well... I was gonna say trying to disguise it as well, but that's not true.
Of course there's the irrefutable fact that the nerdiest women often are the most messed up. We can't forget Martha going to jail and Bree having that drinking problem, only to name a few.

I'm not planning on going to jail any time soon, so maybe I should start with a drinking problem? LOL, I don't think so... Those times are gone as well. Maybe that's what freaks me out sometimes, a couple of years ago when I wasn't a mom and we spent every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night partying like the apocalypse was coming, it's like all my stress went in there. (Now that I think about it, without kids, why was I stressed???) Now my stress goes (sadly) to... Huh? Where does it go? I know I have plenty of stress packed somewhere,  but at the moment I'm not sure where it's going. Maybe in a couple of months I'll explode and go mad like Michael Douglas in Falling Down (great movie by the way... I think we have all thought of doing some of the stuff he does).

Don't know. As for today, my biggest doubt is which part of me will win at the end, the Bree part or the Pshyco freak part...

According to this article I read about how the personality you have by first grade, defines your personality for life (Personality Set for Life By 1st Grade, Study Suggests), I should be:
-a tomboy
-always trying to be the center of attention
-not willing to share my stuff out of fear they might damage it
-convinced that I do EVERYTHING better than everyone else
-chubby (this counts in personality if you truly love food)
-mean to other kids
-a good friend over all
-hyper active

Hmm... I think it might be true!! Looks like a haven't changed a bit since first grade! I was trying to remember when was that I started the whole cooking thing, and I think it has always been there, but the baking thing definitely came with motherhood.

So in the most corny possible way, I think being a mom has made me sweeter! Maybe I have a chocolate heart after all :)

10 things I learned during my vacations

So... After some well deserved vacations, I'm finally back home with my dogs, my bed, my shower, my laptop, my car and every other thing in my life that makes me smile!

I went with my lovely family to Orlando and visited almost EVERY theme park, the ones I've visited recently, the ones I've been in for a thousand times, and the ones I hadn't been in for more than two decades. It was extremely hot and extremely tired, but great! I definitely love theme parks! I'm pretty sure that if I lived near theme parks, not only would I got there several times a year, but would probably work there. OK, maybe I wouldn't work there now, but I would have in my youth.

Besides learning that I'm a total control freak, I learned / realized a few things.


1. If I can't control something, you better not be around!

I think the control freak part was the worst, cause, it's not that I've forgotten what a maniac I am, it's that I haven't been able to show it and torture someone else.
So I think you know what my poor husband got after 2 weeks alone with me and our son... I like everything done the way I WANT IT, and schedules MUST be respected and followed. Now I know that if we went on vacation more often, maybe our marriage wouldn't go as well (LOL).

2. I don't receive that much phone calls
I'm aware that the people who call me everyday  are mostly family and friends, and frankly, I wouldn't want my phone ringing all day... I took my phone with me and was worried because my birthday would come and I didn't want to answer all the calls because the roaming would be too expensive. Pppphhhhttt... Yeah right. I got about 3 or 4 calls, which is kind of depressing. Sure I got some congratulations on Facebook and twitter, but I expected at least a few more calls.

3. The fatter you are in a theme park, the less you wait in line
No matter how many times I go to theme parks, it impresses me every time the fact that so many overweight people go around in wheelchairs. It freaks me out couples who are both overweight and take turns on the wheelchair. And it makes me angry when I think about someone being too fat to walk, and having a family member push them around. I'm very against people being so overweight that they can't walk, I really think you should draw a line somewhere between "my clothes don't fit and I feel miserable" to "what the hell, I'll just use a wheelchair".


4. There's no such thing as a "small" beverage in the USA
First day, it's very late, we're looking for the hotel address, so we stop at Wendy's. One hamburger and a small coke. The small coke is the size of my head.
I thought it was just Wendy's. I was wrong. Even worst, one day I accidentally ordered a large drink. OMG!!! It was like a gallon in a glass. I couldn't drink that much soda in a week!!

5. I need my son more than he needs me
I always say that my son is very close to me, and that he has mommy-tis. He's always asking for me and crying when we get separated for any reason. Truth is, he wants to be with me very very much, there's no doubt about it, but when someone grabs him or when he smiles at someone else more than he does with me, I get crazy jealous. And then I realized, I need him much more than he needs me. That feeling of being loved no matter what, is unbelievable. And I need that. Everyday. For the rest of my life. I know he will start judging me eventually, and he will probably hate me some days, but I'm planning on keeping the feeling of being loved no matter what in my heart!

6. I need my dogs more than they need me
Same as the last one... Dogs love you just for being you. That's amazing. I love my dogs soooooo much that I can't live without them. I was so worried of going away for vacations and leaving my pets. I was afraid they would stop eating and die. The last pet I had did that.And I cried for hours with my dead hamster in my hand and then for days with my dead hamster in a jar. I still have him in case you're wondering, still dead, still in the jar. Only now he is buried in a plant.
Anyway... I was so afraid of leaving, that I almost cancel my trip. I was even planning on going back earlier if something happened.
What happened? They were OK. I was kind of bummed knowing that they were happy and didn't miss me, and then I felt REALLY bad for feeling bummed that they were happy. In the end I did feel happy tho, knowing that they were OK!
The thing was, after one week I was crying at night because I missed them so much, and 3 days before coming back I couldn't take it anymore. When the plane landed, all I could think of was opening the kitchen door and kissing them.
And yes, they were OK. I'm sure they missed me. But I'm even more sure that I missed them more.

7. There's only so much junk food my body can take
When eating a hamburger or a slice of pizza, I'm the kind of person that says, OMG


8. After using a GPS, I'm virtually incapable of remembering directions or address
My brain stopped working, I guess he deserved a vacation as well! I couldn't remember if we turned left or right, how many blocks we passed, not even a street's name. Shameful. I know.


9. Never, ever fly in Avianca
We bought this tickets a year ago with another airline, which later joined Avianca. By the time our trip came, the original airline wasn't flying to Miami anymore, so we had to go in Avianca.
Worst thing ever. We had a connection flight from Miami to Quito in Bogota. They made us wait in the airport in Bogota for 10 hours. Not fair. Specially considering that there was another flight to Quito with the same Avianca 5 hours before ours. Not fair, never again am I traveling with that airline.

10. Be ready to mess up all of your child's schedules
Since the day we got home from the hospital with my newborn, I've been doing everything by schedule and respecting everything there is to respect about everything they tell you to, but specially regarding sleeping and eating habits.
I've put my son to bed every night for a whole year, at 7:30. Awake. In the dark. Alone. It was perfect. Really. The perfect baby. He would stay in his bed, in the dark, and just sing himself to sleep. Sometimes for an hour or more, without even a cry.
Same with food. Five meals a day since he turned 5 months, first was fruit, then were veggies, then came cereals, protein and so on. Five meals of real, home-made food. Healthy, boiled, no salt or sugar added real food. Oatmeal, polenta, quinua, all from scratch. In 11 months, just 3 Gerber.

And then came our vacations. In a hotel room, sleeping with us in his pack-n-play. Not at 7:30 anymore, but at 10, 11 and sometimes even midnight. Total disaster. Waking up earlier... Not having regular naps... Sleeping with the TV on!
Once again, same with food! Eating chicken strips in restaurants for two weeks... No veggies. Gallons of apple juice a day. Gallons of milk a day. It was very hot, so he drank a lot of fluids. No more home-made cereals or fish. No more chickpeas, or broccoli or carrots...

And then we came back. First night, he almost climbed out of the crib! So he slept in the pack-n-play. Lights out. Cry. Mom left the room. Even more crying. And then I thought, dear God, what have I done?? A whole year of training gone in two weeks!! We're on the third day, and we still have a whole lot of crying going on.

It's OK tho... I'm determined to push restart, and start over. One thing I've learned is that kids are very much  like dogs. In many ways. More than you would think. So if dogs can learn anything in two weeks, I'm doing the same with my child!

The food thing will be easier, but the sleep thing is keeping me awake at night!




.

Good day, sunshine!!

It's been a great day today, and I really don't know why.
Since the moment I woke up, it felt like a Saturday, but contrary of what you'd believe, I wasn't annoyed by the fact that it was Thursday.
I've been feeling happy and grateful about everything in my life, and today seemed like the peak of it.
I loved waking up and having yogurt for breakfast with my son.
I loved knowing that even though last week I ate like a pig with no mercy, I haven't gained any of the pounds I lost.
I loved baking chocolate chip cookies in the morning and the going to the grocery store to buy some stuff for the lunch I had later on with my friends at home.
I loved cooking that lunch and then I loved eating it.
In the afternoon my son took a two hour nap and I was surfing the net and working at the same time, and I REALLY loved the fact that my son is the best baby and I can work with him and take him everywhere and always be with him.
I love believing that I'm not a complicated person and that everything I do is perfect. I know I'm far from perfect. Way far from perfect. But you know what? I really don't give a crap! I think I'm  perfect and that's enough for me!

NOTE**I never mean that I believe I'm perfect with my physical being, rather than with my spiritual, intellectual and inner being. Which may sound even more pretentious, but at least it's the truth. I?m far from believing that I'm physically perfect**

Today at the grocery store, I saw my reflection in the window and I saw a mom carrying her son. It was the best moment of my life! (well, best moment of the day really) (I tend to get over excited when I write)
It's not that I'm some kind of moron that hadn't realized that she had a baby and only finds out a year later, but I saw myself with different eyes... It's hard to explain.
You know when some days it suddenly hits you that you're married? Or that you're working at your dream job? Or any other kind of thing? It happens to me sometimes with my husband. I think about the 13 years we've been together, and I say WOW! It's A LOT of time! And I realize how many things we've done and lived.
But it's the first time it happens with my son. I guess it's the first time I realize he's not another dog, but an actual human being that's here to stay and be my little sunshine for the rest of my life!

It's been a good day!

in my world, happiness feels something like this!

About fame, breastfeeding and stupid things

I decided to share my blog with a few more people (FB) and I must say that I had really nice responses!! I love writing and it feels good to know that someone out there actually thinks that what I write is not boring!
It was getting kind of sad knowing that for a while I was writing for my husband and me (LOL).
I mean, I could have just sent him an email instead of going for all the trouble of creating an account and having to log in, then adding pics, checking for spelling...

All my followers for a while

So if you're reading this, and you're not my husband, please follow me!! That way you will receive a notice when I write a new post!

I've been reading this week a lot of stuff about Gisele Bundchen saying that breastfeeding should be a law... And all the hatred responses that came with it! Quite impressive actually. First I thought wow, people are so passionate about  breastfeeding... Then I thought wow, women are so jealous of Gisele.

OK, I can see the real reason why you hate her!

Then I thought wow, I wish I could raise that many eyebrows by just saying something without the proper thought.
If someone is good at saying stupid, non thought things, that's me!!! I'm the kind of person that just says whatever comes to her mind, sometimes they come a bit too much, but sometimes they come out just right!

The thing about me, is that if you don't know me, you'll just think I'm some kind of crazy egomaniac trying to call all the attention. And while all of it is true, I'm not a bad person! I'm actually a very good friend (ha ha, that comes with the ego you know, you have to know what you're good at!), when you need me, the chances are you'll get my help, or support. Even money if you need it (tho I probably need it more than you LOL).
I know I'm obsessive-compulsive and very obnoxious at a certain point in the night, but that doesn't mean I don't love you!!

So going back to the Gisele thing... I've been reading blogs for a while, and I watch TV off course, and read the news, and watch the news... You know, keep myself informed! And no matter how long it's been, I'm still more and more impressed every time I see the reaction people have with celebrities.

I come from a country where the biggest celeb is probably the president. And even they get kicked out when they do something stupid. We don't really have celebrities around here... So if someone is on TV saying their opinion out loud, no one really cares, because probably no one really knows who that is, or what he does.

Any one can be on TV over here. I mean, I've been on TV a few times, and on magazines and the newspaper. It's not such a big deal. You can get a call any day of the week and there will be someone saying, hi Carolina, I'm friends with such and such and she gave me your number and I want to interview you because she told me you make really nice clothes... Or you have 3 dogs... Or you colored your hair green... Or you have two eyes... Anything really.

Me as Andy Warhol for a Warhol special

 
If they have space on those pages, they'll call you! Now, if I lived someplace else, like, say the U.S., that would be very different! I would have at least thousands of people trying to find out what my twitter account is and what my dogs names are so they can send them personalized gifts.

OK. Once again I'm exaggerating. But you get the point. Around here, nothing really happens!

I'd like to see what would happen if I were famous and said something really stupid. The kind of things I say any Friday night! That would be a nice what if to see sometime. Like those Nicolas Cage movies where he imagines what would be of  his life is he wasn't rich and had everything and instead had a crappy house and 2 random kids with his high school sweetheart.  (OK there was only ONE Nicolas Cage movie like this, but it seemed like 20)

Hilarious?? Come on... Depressing is more like it!

I don't appreciate fame so much, all though I know it can be very cool having people recognizing you anywhere and taking your pics and saying your name and knowing all about you and sending you gifts and following you everywhere and...
Wait.
Why is that cool?
You don't even get to say stupid things anymore because people will stop judging you in silence and start judging you in public!

Let's face it... If you're some regular person saying stupid things, people think you're crazy. If you're a celebrity saying stupid things, people think you're stupid!

I rather be seen as a crazy person than a stupid one!

About being happy

I was reading yesterday a post about how to raise a happy child. It made me think about a lot of stuff.
I think one characteristic that jumps to people when they meet my son, is how happy he is. You can really tell he is a happy child, and needless to say, that makes me extremely happy and proud.

Me and my happy child!

I've always considered myself a happy person, no matter what people may think, I really do think I'm a very happy person! I may act as a madwoman sometimes and I do get angry when there's a reason to it (I'm normal, you know), but generally speaking, I'm happy most of the times.

That being said, even during pregnancy, I tried my best to stay cool and relaxed, so my unborn child would "enjoy the ride" and prepare himself for the outside world. I played him music everyday, I described everything to him and I sang. A lot! In the shower, in the car, at the office... I sang everyday. Personally, that makes me happy!

Now that "he's out", I try every moment to make him happy, and I try very hard to teach him how to appreciate the word that surround us and make the best out of every situation. I think that's the hardest part in life, making  the best of bad moments, and trying to see always the bright side of things.

Taking about happiness, I must say with a smile the resembles the Cheshire the cat (Alice in Wonderland), that I've lost 13 pounds in a month. I feel absolutely better, both physically and mentally!
I can't say that I'm thin, but I'm definitely not a bag of fat anymore! I went to the supermarket the other day with my son, and I swear to god that I felt like a supermodel walking down those aisles!! (lol)

OK. Maybe I'm exaggerating. But I do feel better. Not only do my clothes fit, but some of them are starting to look baggy, which is refreshing, after wearing every top in my closet like a tattoo on my skin! I can finally where a loose top, loose! I was wearing loose tops for a while that looked very tight on me!

Oh! And I did get a Mohawk after all. Well, a faux Mohawk. The second I told my stylist my choices, he said there was no question about it. I looooove changing my hair, I think it might be some kind of addiction!

my faux Mohawk

So now you know, if you see a 30 year old normal woman with a faux Mohawk and a happy child,  acting like she's a 20 year old supermodel,  well, that's me!!

hair hair hair hair... what to do???

I'm having a major hair crisis!!
After almost two years of the same hairdo and color (with little variations in lenght and hue) a week ago I decided I'm done with it.
I've been looking at people's hair on the internet everyday, searching for something that atracts me... This time I'm lost. After considering a bunch of options, I narrowed them down to 3:

1-a mohawk

2-hair extensions and bangs

3-shorter cut and bangs and permanent straightening

While looking for pics I found this really cool site from Clairol where you can upload your ppic and try different hairdos and color! http://www.clairol.com/try-it-on-studio/tios.jsp

I would like to go with the hair extensions and the bangs just because I'm tired of having short hair and would like a real change.

 But the one that tempsts me the most is the rihanna-style-mohawk. I really like that hair!! And maybe I could go with some color too ♥ 

I looooove coloring my hair. After doing real damage to it when in highschool, I got a razor blade and cut off all of my hair. It was really cool, but I was thin. If I do it again I'll look very very very very weird! I did this because I promised "no more hair coloring" so I wouldn't go bald at 40.

Off course, I didn't keep my promise and when my hair was an inch long, I colored it orange! Then blond and red followed, and two years later I decided I was gonna do it again. BUT this time, I WAS gonna keep my promise of no hair coloring. 

Again, it didn't happen at all!

Again, when my hair was an inch long, I colored it bright red. 

Since then it's been a rainbow nonstop in my hair. And haircuts. I get tired of looking at myself in the mirror too easy! 

And now, it's been too long. 2 years? 3 years? OMG... I can't even remember! I did have the blond phase and the red phase in these 2 or 3 years, but IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME HAIRCUUUUT.

Arghh... Saturday I'm going to chop it, make it longer, color it or do whatever they reccomend me. (not really, LOL! I hate doing what people tell me to do)

So this is me. Starting at age 14 or 13 in the first pic, all the way to age 30 in the last pic. Searching for my pics I realized I'm missing about 4 years of memories. (if you'd known me before, you'd think I didn't have memories because of too much partying, not because I can't find the pics!!)

So please notice that between the short red hair w/sunglasses and the blonde hair with sunglasses, there are 4 years of change in there!

 

The purple hair is the same, it's just that I reaaaaaally like it, so I put 2 pics! 

And off course the troll hair, is for a costume party (where I went as a troll). I don't go out dressed like that anymore! LOL

 I love blonde hair, pink hair, purple hair and black hair. I would go with the mohawk and blonde hair on top. 

I won't be able to sleep thinking about my hair cut. After pregnancy, deliver and looking for my son, I need a complete makeover. I'm tired with my weight and hair. 

Let's see what happens on saturday!!  (#fingerscrossed)

wish me luck.

The bag-o-flesh

Dealing with postpartum body is not easy... The few parts of your body you used to like, are suddenly gone, or even worst, are like an empty bag-o-flesh :-(

Your belly is huge, your boobs sag, your ass is huge... Not to mention your arms, thighs, hips, and sometimes face.

As you know, I've been dealing with my weight issue for almost a decade, and now I finally decided to do something about it. I have to say that the chicken soup diet and the hitting and slapping and banging and torturing method have had a positive result, because I've lost about 7 pounds and a few inches.
Although I still have many pounds to go, I do feel better. At least getting dressed in the morning is getting to be fun again.

Today I found the best remedy for not feeling like an empty fat suit. Taking your baby with you when you take a shower has a whole new meaning! Every time you look in the mirror and think that your best assets are gone, look behind you and see why your body is like this now.
Just take a look at your baby in the mirror and remember why you went through all of this!

So this would be the timeline:

 Me at 18

Me at 30 (before pregnancy)

Hahaha... I wish!!! This is more like it

Me at 18

Me at 30 (before pregnancy)

The awful truth!! Present time :S

So that my friends is reality. And as we know, reality bites! Let's just hope I can get to look somewhat like the first pic!!! If I fail, I can always make my hair pink again =D